Archive for October 6th, 2008

How many times have I heard that *she* is a *he*, or *he* is a *she*?  Far far too many to count.  Unless you are on voice, on cam or here someone do a voice over while DJing, you really don’t know.  These are the obvious ones though.  In many cases I can guess that the human behind the av is probably male.  Boys, you just don’t know how to be a woman very well.  Now some of you actually pull it off, your avs aren’t off the slider chart and you can keep up a conversation fairly well.  I still don’t get why you want to be a woman.  If your standing naked in your SL home with the shades pulled playing with yourself, Dude, not good.  I know quite a few people who have opposite sex avs but most of them are used for business purposes.  Clothing and skin designers for example.  This isn’t really the point of this post though.

My point in this post is that judging someone by what you perceive to be a truth is just wrong.  Unless you’ve spent months getting to know someone, you really don’t know what is going on behind the keyboard.  We only know what our humans wish to share.  Then there is no way to know if what is being shared is true or wishful thinking.  You can’t look in their eyes, you can’t hear the tone in their voice.  So, do you go on blind faith and just trust or do you wait for someone to earn it?

Going beyond the obvious of gender swapping avatars there are all the other little details some of us leave out.  Married, gay/lesbian, age, race, culture, and all the other little details that define us and our lives.  I hear it often, *Is it cheating if your married in RL and partnered/having sex with a different av in SL?*  Well if your hiding it from your spouse in RL then yeah, your cheating.  Even if it’s just pixels.  If your not using Xcite gear most likely your cybering and since that requires some thought and for you to type it out, to me, that’s cheating.  If your RL spouse knows all about it and doesn’t care, ok but to me, it’s still cheating.  You’ll note I said ME.  Your opinions are your own.

Age is a tough one.  Underage players shouldn’t be on the adult grid.  Simple end of story.  I agree there are a lot that are mature enough to handle it but it’s not just for their protection, it’s for ours too.  Think of all the possibilities for lawsuits should it come out that a teen was hanging out with adults.  Think about some of the raunchy, innuendo filled conversations you’ve had.  Do you want a 16 or 17 or younger person hearing all that?  An overly flirtacious adult hitting on them?  The adult has no idea but can be labelled a pedophile all the same.  So regardless of the maturity of the kid, I say they should be kicked back to the teen grid.  As an aside, maybe the teen grid would be popular if these kids on the adult grid stayed on the teen grid.

Race/culture/sexual preference are all breeding grounds for discrimination in the real world.  I see the same in SL only on a smaller scale.  I’m not going to even try to comprehend the pressures these people go thru in RL.  That many come to SL to escape that I have no doubt.  While folks in SL are generally  more accepting, there are still issues.  The furries and Goreans are persecuted.  Adults in kid avs are banned from many places and some accused of age play.  While there are some bad eggs in the basket, you don’t throw the whole thing out. 

The next time you meet someone new, take a few moments to get to know them a bit.  You really have no idea who is behind the avatar and things are not always as they appear.


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