Friendslist and maps

After reading Lands posts about map rights and friends lists it got me thinking.  No I didn’t hurt myself, hush up!  

I’ve been in SL for 2 years now and I’ve only cleaned out my friends list once.  It’s not even a very long list considering  how long I’ve been in world.  Where I differ with Lands is that I don’t *friend* everyone that asks.  If your on my friends list it’s because we’ve spoken before.  Now I know I could hand out calling cards instead.  What is a calling card you ask?  Go to your inventory, look at the folder up on top called calling cards.  These are all the people you have friended and anyone who has you given you  their card.  Go ahead, open one, look at it.  I’ll wait.  Welcome back.   Now, you can give these out to people instead of friending them.  It will give them a way to get in touch with you without being on the friends list.  Right click the person and select give card from the pie menu.  It’s really easy.   So, if you don’t necessarily want to add someone to your friends list, give them a calling card.

Map rights…  This one can get ugly, and I know this from personal experience.  Lets say you are dating someone.  You give them map rights.  Well one evening you are  hanging out on your sofa with someone who is not your b/f or g/f.  In comes your significant other who has mapped you and didn’t notice the 2 dots, or maybe they did.  Well Lucy, now you’ve got some ’splaining to do.  Or do you?  If I give someone map rights does that automatically mean they can pop in on me any time they like?  No it doesn’t.  It means I’ve given you rights to know where I am.  If you map me and there are 2 dots, IM me before you *drop* in.  Get your mind out of the gutter   I could simply be in the middle of a private conversation.  If I’m at the Crown, go ahead and map me.  My point here is, if I’m at the Crown or out shopping drop in, the more the merrier.   But if you map me and see one or 2 dots, how about IMing me first before you drop in.  That’s just common courtesy. 

I have map rights to a number of people.  All good friends who trust me enough to give me that privilege.  If they are at the Crown, yep I’ll cheat and map them to get there quicker.   Would I ever map them if they were somewhere else?  Nope, not unless they told me to.  Have I checked to see where people are, yep, I have.  I’ll check the map before I IM them.  If I see 2 dots, I’ll leave them alone.   

Now, lets say your are dating someone and you DON’T give them map rights.  What does that say about the relationship?  Well, either you don’t trust them, you are doing something worthy of hiding or you simply don’t trust anyone.  This happened to me.  I didn’t give him map rights, we had a huge row.  I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I just didn’t trust him.  Nor did I want him following me around everywhere I went.  Course, he didn’t trust me either which is another matter entirely.  I gave him map rights in the end.  Regretted it and eventually he and I split up. 

My point is that giving map rights means you trust that person, you have nothing to hide from them.  You are also giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll act responsibly.  Remember, just because someone gives you map rights, or even that they friended you doesn’t mean you can be a pest.  Rights easily given can just as easily be taken away.